My Simon

Here's how the day went ...

My poor little kitty.  I knew the night before that it was getting to be time for him.  His hair was all matted on his back.  Apparently cats stop grooming themselves when they feel really sick.  He was so thin and still having his ... let's just say stomach issues.

Tuesday morning he was snuggling on my lap and I was just so sad for him, but I was giving him love.  Soon after that he had a bad vomit session.  Sorry, but he did.  It was then that I knew.  He just wasn't keeping anything down anymore.  Why would I wait to see him only get worse.

I looked up the vet's number and had it on the desk for probably two hours.  I would work on my Bible study work and then try to call.  I wouldn't be able to so I would do more Bible study work and repeat the cycle.

Dan called and asked me if I just woke up.  Um, it was 1 pm.  He said, "Why do you sound like that then?"  "Um, I've just been crying."  Because that's what I do now that the kids are in school all day.  Not really, but sometimes it seems that way.

Dan knew why.  He offered to make the appointment, or take him, or whatever I needed, but I knew I had to be the one.  I just knew it was time and I had to see it through.  He was my kitty.  Leading up to this I was having Dan call to find out the process, etc.  I had told him at one point that I didn't think I could be there when they do it.  Looking back though I now know that it just wasn't time.  At this point I knew I was helping him.

I called and cried and said,"I have to make that dreaded appointment of having my cat put down."  Ugh. 
The receptionist was really sweet though and I was able to take him in later that night. 

The kids cried when I told them that night was the night.  Elijah asked how they would do it and why and then what would we do with him, etc.  He's my details kid.  He needs to know everything.  He also said it was mostly sad for Samson (our other cat) since he is his brother.

I spent some time with Simon that night on the floor in my room just petting him and petting him until it was time to go.  The kids cried again and Madelyn took pictures of him with her Leapster.  When I got to the vet's office I walked up to the door and did not think I could go through with it.  I seriously came *this close* to turning around, but I knew I could not repeat the day again at some other point which is what would have happened.  Blech.  It was not fun.

So, I went in.  They did the usual deal and I was just waiting and waiting.  I unzipped the carrier so I had enough room to pet Simon's head while I waited.  I figured I would probably throw up or pass out by the way I felt, but I knew I could not turn back at this point.  My cat was dying either way, and at least this way he wasn't going to suffer any more.

The receptionist was so empathetic with me while she was putting us in the room.  She was talking about how hard it is and how you always second guess this or that no matter what you do or when you do it.  I appreciated her empathy and she was right.  The tech came and took Simon to put the IV in his leg.  When she brought him back I held him for a long time.  He really did snuggle into me for a few minutes and I am glad I had that moment with him.

When the vet came in he was very to the point. I had heard that about him and knew to expect it.  He asked me some questions and told me what the process would be and what I could expect, etc.  He sedated Simon so it was like he fell asleep in my hands.  Once he is sleeping they give him the other dose.  It was very peaceful.  They wrapped him in a towel and put him back in the carrier for me to bring him home so we could bury him.

My friend just told me the other day that it was recommended to them when their dog died they should show the body to the other dog so that she would know what had happened.  I kind of wish I had known this at the time because Samson really has been weird since then.  I could have shown him Simon's body and maybe he would have realized?  I don't know, but he definitely is having a hard time adjusting.

Anyway, we buried him and the kids were fine at this point.  I don't know how I do not have animal crazy kids.  I was always such an animal freak and couldn't keep my hands off of any animal I came across.  Simon was definitely my cat, but I still thought the kids would be more sad.

Elijah did pray that night that Simon would have fun in heaven.  He had asked earlier in the day if animals went to heaven like we do.  I told him I like to think that Liezl and Simon are together now playing.  Of course, he asked, "Who's Liezl?"  Liezl was our dog when Madelyn was just a baby.

The next day at dinner Elijah says, "Well, we survived another day without Simon."  As if there was a question.

So, I am sad about my kitty, but I have definitely had a peace about it.  And, I keep hugging Samson.  I think he is wondering what the deal is, but he's super laid back so I don't think he minds too much.  Now I just wish he would stop meowing at me and pawing at my face at night.  He will also bite my hair.  It is so annoying. Thankfully last night I was able to lock him out of our room so I slept better.  Poor thing.  Night time was when he and Simon were together most.  If they ever messed with each other it was at night.  Plus, our basement is all torn apart now so he is hesitant to go down there for his litter box.  Ugh.  It's not easy for a kitty to lose a loved one.

I told my sister that it was like the end of an era.  I got my cats when they were 8 weeks old and Dan and I were engaged.  I had an apartment with my dear friend Jess.  They've been with me through a lot of life changing events - my marriage, moving to MD, buying our first house, getting our first dog, having our first baby, burying our dog, having our second baby, moving to PA, and now here he will rest.  He was a really good cat, never caused any trouble, was always so chunky and snuggly.  I called him my teddy bear kitty because of how he would snuggle up with me at night.  I would wake up with him squished next to me on one side and Dan squished next to me on the other while I was sweating from all the warmth!  He was so pretty too.  His little pink nose and his sandy colored fur.  Our computer died.  Otherwise I would post a picture, but I think I am just rambling at this point anyway.

I will miss my sweet kitty.