Madelyn

My dear sweet tender-hearted Madelyn.

She made a birthday card for Dan (his b-day is on the 28th) and had all of her classmates sign it for him. She gave it to Dan yesterday. I thought that was so sweet.

She has been opening up to me a lot lately. When I say a lot I mean absolutely positively pouring her heart out to me about all things under the sun. I love it mostly. I only say mostly because I hate the fact that my innocent girl is discovering that the world isn't all sunshine and princesses and bunnies and puppies and kittens and happiness and whole as she has known it to be most of her life.

She's discovering and questioning and I am thrilled she is okay with doing all that with me. Life is rough and it's easier to go through it with someone whose got your back.

The other day she told me she had things she wanted to talk to me about. It turns out that PollyAnna, you know the one from the book, is an orphan. Her parents die. This got Madelyn thinking about life if I died. (Oh my goodness just tear my heart out and feed it to the dogs.)

Hear is my little girl all teary eyed with this weight on her that I had no idea about. I told her that yes it would be very sad if something happened to me, but she has a whole big family who loves her and would do their best to take care of her and that's when she lost it. Crying in my arms over the thought of her parents dying. I finally just told her that so far I am doing okay. I am healthy as far as I know and Lord-willing I will be around for a long time. I assured her that meant that she will grow up, get married, have children, and I will definitely still be trying to tell her what to do through all of it to the point I will drive her crazy. That's what moms are for right? That got her giggling.

When they say still waters run deep they aren't kidding. I have always known there was a lot going on her head. She is very thoughtful about things and internalizes a lot of things. I wondered if it wouldn't all come pouring out eventually. I have to say I really am glad they did. I feel like I know her that much better now and we have a stronger bond because of it. I praise God for this and He has helped stabilize the heart attacks that come on during some "discovery conversations" so that I am still able to speak. My little girl is growing up!