Tuesday, March 2, 2010


My dear sweet tender-hearted Madelyn.

She made a birthday card for Dan (his b-day is on the 28th) and had all of her classmates sign it for him. She gave it to Dan yesterday. I thought that was so sweet.

She has been opening up to me a lot lately. When I say a lot I mean absolutely positively pouring her heart out to me about all things under the sun. I love it mostly. I only say mostly because I hate the fact that my innocent girl is discovering that the world isn't all sunshine and princesses and bunnies and puppies and kittens and happiness and whole as she has known it to be most of her life.

She's discovering and questioning and I am thrilled she is okay with doing all that with me. Life is rough and it's easier to go through it with someone whose got your back.

The other day she told me she had things she wanted to talk to me about. It turns out that PollyAnna, you know the one from the book, is an orphan. Her parents die. This got Madelyn thinking about life if I died. (Oh my goodness just tear my heart out and feed it to the dogs.)

Hear is my little girl all teary eyed with this weight on her that I had no idea about. I told her that yes it would be very sad if something happened to me, but she has a whole big family who loves her and would do their best to take care of her and that's when she lost it. Crying in my arms over the thought of her parents dying. I finally just told her that so far I am doing okay. I am healthy as far as I know and Lord-willing I will be around for a long time. I assured her that meant that she will grow up, get married, have children, and I will definitely still be trying to tell her what to do through all of it to the point I will drive her crazy. That's what moms are for right? That got her giggling.

When they say still waters run deep they aren't kidding. I have always known there was a lot going on her head. She is very thoughtful about things and internalizes a lot of things. I wondered if it wouldn't all come pouring out eventually. I have to say I really am glad they did. I feel like I know her that much better now and we have a stronger bond because of it. I praise God for this and He has helped stabilize the heart attacks that come on during some "discovery conversations" so that I am still able to speak. My little girl is growing up!


Mrs. J said...

WOW! Poor Madelyn! You are going to have to show her that verse, "don not be anxious about anything" :) give it her her, write it out, let her totally hide that in her heart! She is so thoughtful & loving & caring...and carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders! Sigh...she is so sweet. I am just crying thinking about it!

kate said...

So true!
I did just edit it and add that she was giggling by the end when I was telling her I would keep trying to tell her what to do :)
She prayed for my mom-mom the other night that the meds wouldn't make her so sleepy. We are going to have to have that conversation soon too as far as what stage Mom-mom is at and why the meds make her sleepy :(

Kim said...

What's wrong with Mom-mom????!!

kate said...

Hi Kim!
My mom-mom is in the final stages of cancer :'( They are just managing her pain now. It is very sad. She still has such a strong mind about her, but her body is failing. Thankfully she is still at home and family members take turns being with her. She wants to be home as long as she can. She has hospice and nurses looking in on her too.