Thursday, March 4, 2010


Elijah is home from school today. He is still trying to get over this cough. It seems like he will never be cough free at this point.

Anyway, Dan is sick as well and was still home sleeping when I left to take Madelyn to school so I left Elijah with Dan. On the way home I remembered a similar time when I left Elijah home with Dan. I came home and Elijah was nowhere to be seen. When I asked Dan (who had been sleeping) where he was he had no clue. I was trying not to panic and was on my way out the door trying to figure out what direction to go in first when Elijah came around the side of the house. Oh my. HUGE sigh of relief. He was looking for me and Madelyn and was walking around the house on the walkway. He was 2 1/2 at the time.

Then I remembered another time when Elijah made his way out the door. I was upstairs. Dan was in the shower and I heard Daisy barking like crazy at the front door which was unusual because she's not one to freak out like that. I kind of passed it off until I realized my son was no where to be seen!

I went to go outside and here he comes in just his swimming trunks. He said he wanted to go wave to the ice cream man. Oh my. He was 3.

So, while he is almost 5 I still had that curious feeling today on the way home wondering if he would be outside when I came home. Even though he knew I was leaving and knew his dad was in the house you just never know. If he needs or wants something he definitely prefers to ask me knowing he will most likely get it. I confess. It's true. Just like Dan letting Madelyn have ice cream pretty much whenever she wants it even if she's had it for the last 5 nights in a row and I just said I don't think she needs more that night. But, that's a blog for another time ;)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


My dear sweet tender-hearted Madelyn.

She made a birthday card for Dan (his b-day is on the 28th) and had all of her classmates sign it for him. She gave it to Dan yesterday. I thought that was so sweet.

She has been opening up to me a lot lately. When I say a lot I mean absolutely positively pouring her heart out to me about all things under the sun. I love it mostly. I only say mostly because I hate the fact that my innocent girl is discovering that the world isn't all sunshine and princesses and bunnies and puppies and kittens and happiness and whole as she has known it to be most of her life.

She's discovering and questioning and I am thrilled she is okay with doing all that with me. Life is rough and it's easier to go through it with someone whose got your back.

The other day she told me she had things she wanted to talk to me about. It turns out that PollyAnna, you know the one from the book, is an orphan. Her parents die. This got Madelyn thinking about life if I died. (Oh my goodness just tear my heart out and feed it to the dogs.)

Hear is my little girl all teary eyed with this weight on her that I had no idea about. I told her that yes it would be very sad if something happened to me, but she has a whole big family who loves her and would do their best to take care of her and that's when she lost it. Crying in my arms over the thought of her parents dying. I finally just told her that so far I am doing okay. I am healthy as far as I know and Lord-willing I will be around for a long time. I assured her that meant that she will grow up, get married, have children, and I will definitely still be trying to tell her what to do through all of it to the point I will drive her crazy. That's what moms are for right? That got her giggling.

When they say still waters run deep they aren't kidding. I have always known there was a lot going on her head. She is very thoughtful about things and internalizes a lot of things. I wondered if it wouldn't all come pouring out eventually. I have to say I really am glad they did. I feel like I know her that much better now and we have a stronger bond because of it. I praise God for this and He has helped stabilize the heart attacks that come on during some "discovery conversations" so that I am still able to speak. My little girl is growing up!

4 Year Olds

I love them! They say the funniest things ...

Ellie: "Elijah, my mom said you could spend the night at my house for, ummmmm, 29 days if you want. Do you want to???"
Elijah: "Yes! Mommy, can I spend the night at Ellie's for 29 days?"
Me: "Aw, I would really miss you."
Elijah: hmmm
Ellie: "Okay, how about 10 days? That is still a lot of days."
Elijah: "Well, I want to be with my mommy."


Elijah: I don't know how God can see everything all the time.
Ellie: He has very big eyes. And heads. And hands. And hair, but not like girl hair.
Elijah: No because he's a boy.


Elllie usually tries to tell me that he mom said she doesn't have to take a nap when anymore when she's at my house. So today I said, "Really? She didn't tell me that." To which she replied, "Oh, that's because she's not feeling well today and she couldn't call you to tell you that because she was in the living room watching tv. And that's the real truth."


I am trying to teach Elijah why lying is so wrong. He's just not getting it. In his mind it's very simple. You lie, you get out of trouble. You tell the truth, you get in trouble. So, he lies. Understanding the fact that he and Ellie are obsessed with the idea of Satan these days I played off of that by telling him that Satan is VERY happy when you lie. Well, I think it's starting to sink in. On the way home today Elijah explained to Ellie that if you lie, you make Satan very happy. If you tell the truth, you make God very happy. Poor Ellie feeling guilty already just blurts out, "I am not even lying. I really am not!!" She hadn't been saying anything at all. Poor thing. Then she says, "I LOVE Jesus and that is not a lie." Elijah's response to that, "I would never punch God." Keep in mind he is all about super heroes these days. He is always pretending to be one or another so punching is a big part of his pretend lives as super heroes. He is okay with the idea of punching Satan though.