dreams

holy moly. my dreams have been crazy lately.

last night i was shoe shopping at a really cool mall and i over heard a lady insult my outfit. i then realized i wearing cropped leggings with a mint green shirt that was longer in the back than the front and i came in barefoot hoping to find some cool shoes to wear through the mall. i left with a scarf and slippers.

then we went to a different part of the mall where outside the entrance to the arcade was a bunch of snow and a snowball machine that shot snowballs at you. it was crazy and a little dangerous because the machine went around in circles so you had to stay out of the way. i woke up after dan got hit and fell over. he was knocked out and i was trying to move him before the machine came around again.

after i fell back to sleep i dreamed i was hanging out with robert pattinson. he was filming some things. nice guy.

see? crazy.

the night before i dreamed about a friend we haven't heard from in a while and now i know why. he was with a new woman. i don't know where his wife was, but there was no introduction to the new woman. it was almost like he was pretending she was his wife. see? crazy. and that was only half of it. i can't even write the other part even though it was funny.

sometimes i am curious where my dreams come from. other times i would just like to forget them. i do know that the kids needs shoes for school. madelyn always looks cute in her legging outfits. i would not. i don't know about the snow machine except that dan has been going through some stressful things at work? and maybe that's where that was coming from? i don't know.

i should keep a dream journal. or, maybe not.

Meltdown Anyone?

Sometimes your kids just need to be snuggled after a rough day.

King's Club was going fine until the last minute. Literally.

We had time inside playing Twister and this fun Dr. Seuss game that I bought the kids for Christmas. But, after school is a tough time to entertain kids and I have found if they have time to run around everyone is just a little better off.

So, we spent time outside. It was a small group today which is lovely, but it is also the first week back after vacation, wed of that week, after school hours when kids are hungry ... you get the idea. Well, combine all those things along with a wide age range of the kids and disaster is bound to happen apparently. Just when I was ready to mark the hour off as a success all you know what broke loose. Kids started trying to mess with the younger kids by taking their toys they were playing with so you have a meltdown, very guilty looking older kids who then end up fussing at each other, reluctant apologies and it's time to go in so one of the littlest ones (mine) start crying because he doesn't want the play time to end. Oh my.

What a great way to end an otherwise good day.

In all honesty I am beat too. Before I had to leave to get Madelyn from school I really just wanted to snuggle up and take a nap. Alas, responsibilities ruin that plan.

So, again tonight I have great plans of snuggling into bed early and reading my book until I fall asleep, but do you know what will really happen? This ...

Dan will get home later than expected. The kids will go to bed later than expected, and they need showers. Dan will then say we have to check in with the wii fit since neither of us has done it today. Admittedly, I have started to look forward to that time of day because it is really funny. I'll post on that later though. Then we will head to the basement where our tv is and it will be an hour before we come back up.

In the meantime, I will hang onto the fantasy in my head of lying in bed at an early hour reading Bonhoeffer (such a great book by the way).

Not the Best Day Ever ...

We were heading to see Grandma Elva. All of us, including Vern & Lois.

Being the award winning mom that I am I had completely forgotten to feed my son before we left. I have an excuse though. He and Dan went for haircuts at 8:30 a.m. Since they had to leave early I quick gave Elijah a cup of milk and some Honey Combs in a baggie to snack on.

Once they were back I was too busy fussing over cute haircuts and getting Madelyn ready to go that I completely forgot to give Elijah a real breakfast.

All that to say that it wasn't until we were on the road, stopped for gas, Dan got a breakfast sandwich and Elijah says, "Hey, I never ate breakfast!" Madelyn of course wanted a snack then too so I quick ran into Sheetz to grab some breakfast. What do I pick? Powdered mini donuts of course! The breakfast of champions right?

My justification: Elijah LOVES them. Madelyn wanted a snack too, and it was something we could all snack on since we had a long day ahead. We were going to visit Grandma Elva and then go swimming with Dan's aunt and her grandsons.

Oh, that is until a car decided to pull out in front of us!!!

I had just turned around to give Elijah "just one more" donut, and while I was leaning over the side of my seat to close the box I heard a loud bang. It's amazing the number of thoughts that go through your mind in just a few seconds.

So this is what I saw and thought after I heard the bang ...

Whoa!! What the ... Oh, a tire must have blown, wait those are air bags, ugh the smoke, my throat is burning ... wait, we hit someone!? Dan asked his dad if he was okay, Vern said, "Yeah, I'm okay." (He was in a lot of pain) Then I heard the kids crying so I started saying, "We're all okay! We're all okay!" Madelyn then said, "That was really scary!! I hit my mouth!!" There was no blood and I just kept saying, "I know, but we are all okay!!" Elijah had a mouth full of powdered donuts and his mouth was wide open as he was crying. Dan later told me he thought he was foaming at the mouth. He did say to me, "Look at Elijah! Look at his mouth!!" I said, "He's fine! I know! He is eating powdered donuts!!"

It was so nuts. Finally the smoke and powder from the air bags was just too much so I started to get out of the car. I told the kids to get unbuckled and got Elijah. Vern got Madelyn. We were on the side of the road and there were trees. We were being poked by dead branches as we tried to work our way past the back of our car. Thankfully there was a driveway nearby so we all kind of stood there and talked to cops, and other people who had come to help.

Poor Vern, his chest was killing him. Lois had a nasty contusion on her leg. Dan's leg got bruised. At first just Vern & Lois were going to go to the hospital, but then the firefighter encouraged us to get the kids checked out just to be safe.

We all road in the ambulance to get to the hospital in Reading. I was glad because then we were a bit closer to home rather than stuck in Pottstown on the side of the road, or at the diner as the cop told me they could get us there. Craziness.

Everyone got a good report from the doctor. Although Elijah kept pointing to a scab that was about 2 weeks old saying it hurt. So funny. I do think he hit his foot on the side though during the accident. He had a bit of a bruise, but it was so funny that he kept pointing to this healing scab area.

Now that it is going on a few weeks later Vern and Lois are still healing. Actually, Dan is too. His leg got busted up by the air bag that was by his feet. Lois may have to have her leg drained. A lot of blood collected under the skin and it hasn't gone away completely.

Life can change in an instant. It freaks you out. We still need a new car. I hate car shopping. But, thank the Lord we are all okay.

Live on Your Toes!

This is my new life motto.

I discovered it last night.

Dan and I were chatting about the world ending soon, or not ending soon.

(Isn't that what you do on a Friday night with your husband?)

This was all on the heels of discussing the recent earthquake in MD and people thinking the world is coming to an end as a result of the earthquake and the blizzards they got this winter.

It isn't a secret that the world will end one day, at least not in my mind.

So, I simply said that we should focus on living in a way that we are not surprised when Christ returns. We should be expecting Him to the point where when He comes we are able to say, "We've been expecting you! So nice to see you!" To which I then said, "You just need to live on your toes!" Then I got excited and made that my life motto.

Don't be surprised if you hear those words come out of my mouth a time or two with a little giggle attached. Because while I believe it's true, Dan and I did have a good laugh over it. And, I was able to use it again before the night was over.

Good times with my hubster. He's the best.

Flashback

Elijah is home from school today. He is still trying to get over this cough. It seems like he will never be cough free at this point.

Anyway, Dan is sick as well and was still home sleeping when I left to take Madelyn to school so I left Elijah with Dan. On the way home I remembered a similar time when I left Elijah home with Dan. I came home and Elijah was nowhere to be seen. When I asked Dan (who had been sleeping) where he was he had no clue. I was trying not to panic and was on my way out the door trying to figure out what direction to go in first when Elijah came around the side of the house. Oh my. HUGE sigh of relief. He was looking for me and Madelyn and was walking around the house on the walkway. He was 2 1/2 at the time.

Then I remembered another time when Elijah made his way out the door. I was upstairs. Dan was in the shower and I heard Daisy barking like crazy at the front door which was unusual because she's not one to freak out like that. I kind of passed it off until I realized my son was no where to be seen!

I went to go outside and here he comes in just his swimming trunks. He said he wanted to go wave to the ice cream man. Oh my. He was 3.

So, while he is almost 5 I still had that curious feeling today on the way home wondering if he would be outside when I came home. Even though he knew I was leaving and knew his dad was in the house you just never know. If he needs or wants something he definitely prefers to ask me knowing he will most likely get it. I confess. It's true. Just like Dan letting Madelyn have ice cream pretty much whenever she wants it even if she's had it for the last 5 nights in a row and I just said I don't think she needs more that night. But, that's a blog for another time ;)

Stronger after Battle

Dan and I have been through a lot in the last 4 years ... a lot. We seem to be nearing the light at the end of the tunnel at this point though. And, while I am always a bit hesitant to say that because we never know what tomorrow may bring, I am happy to say I feel stronger.

I feel as though we have been through battle. Boy oh boy does it feel like we are emerging from battle. So, while feeling somewhat wounded, I definitely feel stronger.

Here's an example. I am a crier. It does not take much for me to cry. I watch people say good-bye at the airport and I cry. If I see someone crying, I cry. I think about Madelyn going away to college and I cry. It just doesn't take much for me to cry. It never has.

But lately I've noticed I don't cry as easily. I am stronger.

Recently, Dan and I were watching, of all things, American Idol. This is funny because we don't even watch American Idol. We barely watch tv. We had exercised together though and while cooling down he turned the channel to AI. I know enough about AI because I have friends who watch it so I knew about Danny and how his wife died.

So, I said to Dan, "Isn't that sad? He is on AI now and he can't even share that with his wife? What would we do if we didn't have each other to come home to and share things about our lives with?"

Then I looked over at him and he had tears in his eyes! My dear sweet husband. I love him so much. He had tears! I said, "Are you crying??"

I loved it. We were laughing because he said, "Yes!" and something about being super sensitive now. I said, "And I think I am stronger!" He said, "It's a good thing because your husband is a big baby (or something to that effect)."

It was so sweet and funny and we laughed and hugged and all that good stuff.

All that to say, God has taught me a whole bunch, and though we were deep in the trenches at times I have somehow emerged stronger.

On the way home from church today Dan and I were discussing what we have been through and how we should write down our accounts of all that has taken place. Life just keeps going and I want to always remember what God has done in our lives during this time and all that He brought us through. Plus, I think it will be interesting to read Dan's perspective on things compared to mine.

So, this will probably be my forum for writing these accounts. It will just be easy for me this way I think. It's already emotional for me to think back even to those earlier days when it was all just beginning. (I said I was stronger. I didn't say I was no longer a crier.) But, I think it will be good, therapeutic even.

So, stayed tuned. Hopefully, it will be somewhat interesting for my 3 readers to read. I certainly hope it won't chase away my few readers. That would be tragic.

14 Years Baby!!

Today marks the 14th year that Dan and I have been dating ... (pitter-pat, pitter-pat).

I love him. I do.

And, I love this day. It reminds me of what we were doing on that day. He may hate that I posted this, but oh well.

We had been hanging out for a few months, but were just friends, friends who went everywhere together and did everything together. But, officially, we were still just friends.

Well, this particular night, Feb. 3, 1995 Dan was walking me back to my dorm. We stopped in a parking lot for a snow ball fight. We are throwing snow at each other and laughing like crazy. Next thing he says, "Oh, you have some snow on your face!" and kissed me ... (sigh) I need a moment ... Okay, but then he runs off and continues to throw snow at me!

Next thing I know we are kissing again and then he says, "Will you date me?" ... Um, isn't the kiss supposed to come AFTER the question? As if I really cared at that point ... hee hee ...

And, that was the official start to where we are now. Holy Moly! In some ways it seems like forever ago. In others, it seems like just yesterday. Either way I wouldn't change a thing ...