i have had a lot of stuff going on in my brain lately. i don't feel like i can form one long coherent thought, but i feel like i need to get some of it out. so, here goes ...
+ elijah used to say "a million bazillion 61" when referring to something that was a lot until a friend in school told him it wasn't a real number. well, now he is a number snob. if someone says "a million bazillion" he is quick to tell us that isn't a real number. i reminded him of what he used to say and he just kind of blew it off by repeating "it's not a real number." so, i thought i needed to write it down so i didn't forget he said it because it was really cute when he did.
+ madelyn is going to another sleepover this weekend. seriously. this girl's social life is more exciting than mine. it's her friend's birthday so she was invited to go to sight & sound with her friend and then spend the night. she has been so excited for weeks. you would think it was her birthday! i haven't even been to sight & sound before!! i am excited for her. it is her best friend who is an only child and they are a really nice family. but man. i don't like sending her away over night. things just seem off balance at home. i am happy for her, but sad for me. would it be strange to follow them all afternoon and evening? oh. i thought so.
then i have elijah who is already sad at the thought of his sister being gone over night on friday. oh, but that's not all. saturday she is going to a friends house to play for that friend's birthday. she is literally going to be toast on saturday after no sleep and all that people time. she needs a break from people after a while.
man do i love that girl. she is getting nuttier and nuttier by the day and it does my heart good, just a reminder that she did indeed come from me. her nuttiness and green eyes - from me :) otherwise, she has a strong mind like her father which i am grateful for. i honestly am so blessed to have that little darling of a girl in my life. seriously.
+ money ... this was my thought the other day ... if i had a lot of money, what would i buy? here is my answer ... a fence for the dogs to run around in, get my teeth redone ($4500!!!?? ugh.), buy plane tix to go see all those family members and friends we never get to see because flying 4 people is expensive :( ... and that was pretty much the extent of my list. i don't think i am asking for too much. i will be getting my teeth redone soon i believe though because well, after 20 years we are already pushing it. but, it looks like we will be financing it. that stinks. we don't even have a car payment, but we will soon have a tooth payment. silly.
+ man oh man is God working in me. lent is always a time for God to work in me since i have practiced it for the last 3 years now, but this all started even before lent. wanna hear it? in a nutshell God has been showing me more and more my need for a savior. i am so imperfect and sinful and am now super humbled.
+ don't you love when you bond with people in a huge way unexpectedly. that happened recently. having struggled through bouts of horrible OCD thoughts it is always an intense moment when you meet someone who suffers as well. it's like this special bond you have, but can only talk about so much because you don't want to trigger any awfulness, but it's horrible too because you wouldn't wish it on anyone, but again we are all broken aren't we and need each other so you are grateful when you can share in that brokenness with others. it's certainly very very weird, but good in the same way. it kind of makes my heart ache.
BUT, this is what i am learning more and more in this thing called life and not just life, but life as a christian. it is ALL about Christ. and, it is all about relationships. you can't have true relationships if you pretend to have it all together. it will only be a matter of time before your brokenness will show through your pretendness (i know, not a word). then what are you going to do? so, you may as well be real from the get go.
okay, now i am stepping down from my high horse of brokenness ... ha ha.
(remind me to post the towel head story)
+ okay, i think that is all for now. i am going to go type up the towel head story. it's a fun one.