So, Dan thought it would be a good idea to talk to a co-worker of his who is going through a similar situation with her cat.
Cathy (not her real name) e-mails me and says, "It sounds like we are going through the same thing with our cats. If you ever want to talk, feel free to call."
It turns out we are going through almost the exact same situation with our cats only her cat has a tumor on his mouth. Otherwise, symptoms are similar concerning messes, weight loss, hair falling out, etc.
What Dan didn't take into consideration is how similar Cathy and I are in that our cats are our babies. She can't bring herself to make "that appointment" either. She had nightmares after an experience with a previous pet since she had regrets. I forget what the details were, but I know I don't want to do it just for convenience sake and regret that. I also don't want to send him in with Dan and then regret not being there for him in his last moments.
Ugh. Just the thought of "last moments" brings that awful "dry-heave" feeling again. Oh, and tears.
How is it that these little critters work their way into your heart so deeply?
I had a get together here the other night and the cats and Daisy were all over my guests, especially two of the women. The cats especially kept meowing and jumping up to Deb looking for attention. Daisy took to Gale like she owned her. People are so gracious sometimes in those situations, but I felt bad. I had to keep putting them in a separate room.
I like to think that if they weren't so snuggly and sweet still it would be easier to make this decision, but I know I am not kidding myself. It's the idea of their little lives being snuffed out that I cannot stand.
So, Cathy and I were commiserating in the hallway at the school sharing how we hope that the Lord just takes them peacefully even though we know that God doesn't always give us the easy way out. I remember feeling that way with Liezl and hearing a sermon during that time about how God doesn't always give us the easy way out, nor does He forget us during hard times. We usually end up learning a lot through it all.
Cathy has an appointment made for Thursday and took Thursday and Friday off so she can grieve for her kitty and not have to try to work while being so sad. The vet sort of made her make the appointment, but assured her that she could cancel it even up to 5 minutes before.
Meanwhile, Dan is regretting connecting me with Cathy. It's okay though. It's nice to know someone else who understands, who has the same feelings and isn't all judgy thinking they know exactly what you should be doing.
Dan is being super gracious as well, not wanting to pressure me into anything. He's a good guy, that Dan. I sure am glad he's mine.