Tuesday, February 24, 2009

This Feeling I Get

When things are hectic or crazy or stressful or out of control ... you get the picture right? I want to shop. I want to buy things. This kind of goes along with my desire to adopt another pet, but it's a little different. I want to spend money and I want to play with whatever I get.

Usually I can figure out something to buy. This time, I can't. This is probably a good thing though. I'm sure if I actually went out to a store I would come across something to buy, but I don't even know what store I would go to. This is odd for me. I am usually interested in clothes at least. But, now, not so much.

So, now what do I do?

Want to know why I am feeling this way in the first place?

My poor Madelyn had a rough morning. She's had a rough couple of weeks. But, add to that coming off of a steroid and heading to school the next day and you get a disaster. She had a meltdown almost immediately after I got her out of bed. She kept saying she didn't want to go to school. Well, usually when she says this she is just tired and once she is up and about she snaps out of it and is happy to go. Not this morning. Drastic measures needed to be taken.

She ate her breakfast and was fine. She was ... happy, actually. It was nice to see that.

It was stressful though. Dan was taking Madelyn to school. He's sick and waking up to a crying daughter screaming about not wanting to go to school does not bode well for a happy heart. Then his bacon burned. It was all I could do to just get them out the door. They leave, I take a deep breath, start to type an e-mail to Madelyn's teacher (she's also my good friend) to give her a heads up, when I hear a tapping at my door. I thought Dan forgot something, but it was my dear friend Jess.

She didn't get my e-mail. Her phone has been broken so I couldn't call her to tell her we weren't going to story time. Elijah is now sick. But, Jess and I lived together for 4 years in college and one sick kid isn't going to keep us apart so they come in for a bit. Not to mention she is pregnant with twins so she welcomed the break from driving. The kids are playing, we are relaxing. Of course, I had to then call Becky who I was supposed to go to Cabela's with and tell her Elijah is sick. She doesn't need this awful cold going through her household, especially since she has a newborn. So, back to relaxing with Jess after a crazy morning.

Then the phone rings. Madelyn is not in class. She's in Dan's office. She is just really struggling. Dan, of all people, knows well the feeling of coming down from a steroid and we believe this is what Madelyn is struggling with. I told him to keep me posted.

The phone rings again. This time it is dear Barbara (Mrs. Wilcox). She has been cradling Madelyn during this time and now thinks she needs to come home. She thinks she might have a fever. (Help me Jesus if this is the case.) Thankfully, she doesn't.

Wonderful Jess stays with the kids so I can just run up to the school and get my poor little girl. The school is 7 minutes away. I found that those 7 minutes can feel like an eternity when you are trying to get to your child who is out of sorts, crying, and just plain feeling awful.

I rescued her and wanted to just snuggle with her all day until her little world was right again, but Dan was good to remind me that she should do some work today and not get a vacation day, lest she think she can get out of going to school again in this way. I think she loves school too much to do that, but I see his point. So, the deal is one video to calm down and then some makeup work from the last week she missed.

So, back at home, kids playing and then Jess and I are just hanging out. Hangin' with a friend who probably knows pretty much everything there is to know about you on days like this is good medicine for the soul. Who cares that your house is a wreck, your kids are sick, you feel pretty crappy, and then the kids are fighting over a balloon.

Life is life right? And, good friends understand this.

So, back to wanting to shop. I know this is just some emotional longing for some kind of quick fix to my issues, especially since I don't even want anything.

What to do? Oh, I know, spend time with Jesus. Pray. Read the Word. Gain some perspective on life. Get over the silly notion that some kind of material good is going to soothe whatever pain. Even if it did for the fleeting moment, there is more that awaits around the corner. It's just how life is.

That's not to say I won't do some window shopping at Amazon.com. I just like looking, and I have a movie I want to add to my wish list.

But first, I have my date with Jesus ...


Susan (Tubbs) Canady said...

I am SO looking forward to life with kids!! =) I hope things start looking up soon for you guys. Love you!!!

kate said...

Life with kids is an adventure for sure, worth every second.

That's not to say you don't feel like running away from time to time thouh ;)

Have fun at your birthing class! :)

Kim said...

You shop, I cook and eat. :) I have been given some diagnostic questions (and verses) that help me fight my temptations. I'll e-mail them to you - I bet they apply even though the idol is a little different. Poor Madelyn. But how wonderful that the Lord provided Jess just when you needed her. :)

kate said...

*though* rather.

Thanks Kim. I'm sure I will appreciate those verses. Madelyn has had a tough time lately. I'm thinking I will let her sleep tomorrow and then take her in. Her eyes are just so dark underneath.

Hope you all are well! Oh, I need to e-mail you about the home videos we watched recently of our girls. Oh my, PRECIOUS!!! to say the least.